Chapter 14

After sending Yoo Chun and Dae In home, Jun Su started driving in a direction which was definitely not towards my apartment.

“Where are we going?” I asked him.

“To a doctor,” he said.

“I don’t want to see a doctor,” I said angrily. Why didn’t he understand? There was no reason for me to see one.

“Can you shut up for once and listen to me?” he said. His voice was firm and calm, but this usually meant that he was getting angry.

“There is nothing wrong with me, and if there were, I don’t wanna waste the time and money keeping me alive and suffering until the day I die. I’d rather die, not knowing, just like that.”

“You’re always thinking about yourself; how you want to live your life, how you want things done. And you’ve never spared a thought for those around you,” he said angrily.

“It’s my life. And who said that I’ve always lived it the way I want to. I’m marrying you because you want us to get married. Did I ever ask you to marry me? I didn’t. How dare you accuse me of being selfish?”

“If marrying me is such a burden, then don’t. I don’t need you to marry me if it’s such a big sacrifice to you. I don’t want to marry you only to have you die on me and my family, who already treat you as if you were their own.”

After hearing Jun Su’s outburst, I realized I’d gone a little too far. I never wanted to hurt him or his family and I do care about them.

“Jun Su-yah,” I said as I took his hand and squeezed it. He sighed wearily and he squeezed back. “Mian,” I said softly.

“I’m sorry too. Can we just go see the doctor?”

“Can we go another day? I’m not ready for whatever the doctor might say today.”

“Fine. I’ll make an appointment with my family’s physician. We’ll go sometime next week. Alright?”

“Ne,” I replied as I leant my head over to rest on his shoulder as he drove.

The next week came quickly, and I was in the hospital all day doing tests and getting every part of my body checked up. I had to run on a treadmill, hooked this machine which measured my heartbeat, I had blood tests, scans, x-rays taken and by the end of the day, I felt exhausted from it all. Jun Su was with me all the way, holding my hand whenever he could.

“I’m sure there’s nothing wrong with you,” he said reassuringly. “Just bear with it, alright? I just want to be sure you’re healthy,” he added, and I smiled at him.

Just in case anyone wondered, I don’t have parents. I’ve lost them a long time ago and I’ve not been told whether they’d died or they’d just abandoned me. I could only hope now that I do not have any hereditary diseases.

It was almost 4pm when we finally ended up in Jun Su’s family’s physician’s office. Dr. Song had been the Kim family’s physician since Jun Su was a child and his word and health advice was always followed to the letter.

“So this is your wife-to-be?” Dr. Song asked Jun Su.

“Ne,” he smiled. “You’ve received the wedding invitation, haven’t you?”

“Yes I have. Thank you,” Dr. Song smiled as he opened up my file.

We looked on anxiously as Dr. Song scanned through the reports collected from the day’s tests. When he was done, he closed it and looked up at us as he clasped his hands together.

“I’m not going to sugarcoat your condition, my dear,” he said.

“Is there something wrong with me?” I asked.

“You have acute cardiomyopathy,” he said.

“Acute what?” Jun Su said.

“In layman’s terms, a minor heart failure,” Dr. Song explained. “It’s a type of heart disease in which the heart muscle is abnormally enlarged, thickened and/or stiffened. As a result, the heart muscle's ability to pump blood is usually impaired. Is there a history of this disease in your family?”

“I was pretty much orphaned, and no one has ever told me of what had happened to my parents.”

“Hmm… then there’s nothing much we can do about it. I suspect that it’s a hereditary condition for you.”

“What do we need to do?” Jun Su asked. “Is it fatal?”

“It could be if she doesn’t take care of herself. You must have been really stressed lately. Have you experienced chest pains before the last one you had last week?”

“I’ve had them once or twice during my school days.”

“Well, I can only put you on medication and we’ll see if we can get it under control. If it gets worse, we may have to consider a heart transplant.”

“A heart transplant?” I exclaimed as I stared at the doctor. This was the reason why I hadn’t wanted to see the doctor. Never in my life had I ever had an operation and I didn’t want one to happen, ever.

“Sierra, calm down,” Jun Su said. “It’ll be alright.”

I turned and stared at Jun Su. He had no idea of the fear I was going through now. What if I didn’t get better? What if I don’t survive the operation? I felt cold sweat beading on my forehead as I was terrified by the thought of never seeing Jun Su again.