Chapter 30: Finale

I stand at the door of the church, not daring to enter. If I walk through this door today, it will confirm everything all over again.

Hee Jin was born without complications, and Sierra onni had survived the ordeal of childbirth, she was able to hold Hee Jin in her arms and meet her for the very first time.

“Annyeong,” I remembered onni saying, as she stroked Hee Jin’s cheek. “Annyeong, Hee Jin,” she whispered as Jun Su oppa watched on.

Onni looked up at Jun Su oppa and she smiled, tears rolled down her cheeks. I was there because onni asked me to. She wanted me to be there when Hee Jin arrived.

“In case I’m not there to greet her,” she had said. “I want you to be the mother she’d never had.”

Thankfully, that didn’t happen.

“She looks just like you,” Jun Su oppa said. “Look at those oriental eyes,” he smiled.

Sierra onni survived Hee Jin’s birth, but her health never improved after that. She was easily tired, and she spent most of her days sitting in the rocking chair in Hee Jin’s nursery, cuddling Hee Jin and singing to her.

Some days, Jun Su oppa would take onni and Hee Jin out for picnics, especially when Hee Jin was 2, and had started to walk. Onni would sit on a blanket and watch as Jun Su oppa played with Hee Jin. Onni once told me, she wished she could carry Hee Jin and toss her in the air just as oppa does, but sadly, she didn’t dare, in case she didn’t have the strength to catch her. Hee Jin is 3 this year.

As I entered the church, I saw Jun Su oppa carrying her in his arms, as they looked over onni. She looked so peaceful lying there. It was as if she was sleeping.

“Oma,” I could hear Hee Jin say as she pointed at onni.

“Oma’s sleeping,” oppa said, and he kissed Hee Jin’s forehead.

I turned away, trying to fight the tears. Yoo Chun put his arm around me and held me close.

“Uljima,” he said. “You need to be strong. Sierra would’ve wanted you to. You’re now like a mother to Hee Jin, and you need to give Jun Su strength as well.”

I nodded and quickly wiped away the tears that have escaped my eyes.

“Come Sung Jin,” I said as I took him by the hand and we walked up to Jun Su oppa.

“Hee Jin!” Sung Jin called out as we approached.

“Oppa!” Hee Jin squealed as she squirmed around in Jun Su oppa’s arms, wanting to come down and play.

“Be careful,” Jun Su oppa said as he put Hee Jin down. “Take care of her, Sung Jin,” oppa smiled, and Sung Jin nodded before taking Hee Jin’s hand and running off to play with her.

“Hey,” Yoo Chun said as he patted Jun Su oppa on the back.

“Thanks for coming,” Jun Su oppa smiled.

“We’re brothers, I should be here,” Yoo Chun replied.

I walked up to onni, and I touched her glass screen above her coffin.

“Onni,” I whispered. “I’m here,” I choked out.

I kept looking at her lifeless face; willing her to wake up and smile at me, talk to me. Yoo Chun came to stand beside me, and he put his hands on my shoulders to comfort me.

“She looks happy,” he said.

“She’s done everything she wanted to do in this lifetime,” I said. “That’s why she looks happy.”

I was there by onni’s side, the night she left us.

“If I die now, Dae In,” she said. “I’ll still be contented.”

“Don’t say that onni,” I exclaimed.

“Chintcha… I’ve done everything I wanted to do. I’ve lived, I’ve loved, I’ve had a child, what more could anyone ask for?”

“A longer life,” I replied. “A long and healthy life.”

“Too late for that,” she smiled wryly.

She seemed alright when I talked to her then, I couldn’t believe it when I got the call from Jun Su oppa a few hours later. His voice was shaking as he delivered the news.

“Sierra’s gone,” he said. “Her heart just failed, she’s gone.”

I couldn’t even answer him, as I was frozen with shock, and the phone fell out of my hands and hit the floor with a loud thud.

“What’s wrong?” Yoo Chun said as he came up to me and picked up the phone.

After talking with Jun Su oppa for a few seconds, he hung up.

“Sit down,” he said, and he guided me to sit on the lounge in our room.

“What did Jun Su oppa say?” I stammered.

“Sierra’s gone. She passed on awhile ago.”

“No… she was talking to me about 4 hours ago. She can’t be dead.”

“She’s gone Dae In,” he said calmly. “Sierra’s dead.”

“No, she can’t be,” I said, and I started sobbing.

After onni’s funeral service, we gathered at their home. As I walked through the hallway, I looked at all the pictures that have filled the walls since Hee Jin was born; Hee Jin when she was an infant, onni and Hee Jin in the park, and the most significant was the portrait of onni, oppa and Hee Jin, which was hung right in the middle of the living room. They’d lived the life they wanted to, the life of a happily married couple with their child, but sadly, it didn’t last.

I walked into Hee Jin’s nursery to find her alone with onni’s photo.

“Imo,” she said in her cute voice as I entered. She’d taken to calling me that since I was like a sister to onni.

“Hey, Hee Jin. What are you doing?” I said as I sat down on the floor next to her.

“Where’s oma?” she asked me.

“Oma went on a holiday,” I said.

“Without Hee Jin?” she said, sadly.

“Yes,” I replied.

“Then who will sing to Hee Jin now?” she said.

“Imo, will sing to you,” I smiled. “Which song do you want to hear?”

“Pungseon!” she said happily.

“Why Pungseon?” I asked her.

“Oma always sing Pungseon to Hee Jin,” she said. “Imo sing for Hee Jin?”

“Araso,” I said and I started singing. “Chinagabeorin, eorin sijeoren,” I paused, as tears started to well up in my eyes. “Pungseoneul t'ago…” I tried to continue, but a sob escaped my throat.

I’d remembered what Sierra onni had said about this song, about this song being her song for Hee Jin, and I couldn’t help but miss her when I thought of it.

“Imo, waegeurae?” Hee Jin said.

“Uhm…” I said as I tried to compose myself, and then I hear Jun Su oppa singing.

“Naraganeun yeoppeun kkumdo kkueossji.”

I smiled at him through my tears, and he smiled back. Then we continued to sing together.

“Noran pungseoni, haneureul nalmyeon, nae maeumedo, areumdaun kieokdeuri saenggakna…”

When we finished singing, Hee Jin clapped her hands happily.

“Again,” she said. “Again!”

Maybe Hee Jin will not remember everything about her mother in years to come, but she had something to remind her if her existence. Sierra onni, you did right. Whenever we sing this song now, we will be reminded of you; your strength, your will, your laughter and your love. You always seemed helpless when it came to the life Fate had chosen for you, but you made sure that you made the most of each day. We will always remember you. Saranghamnida…

Chapter 29

[Sierra’s POV]

Dae In and I were walking up the path with Sung Jin in his stroller when we saw a figure sitting on the doorstep.

“Jun Su oppa!” Dae In exclaimed.

He looked up and his expression just pierced through my heart. He looked tired and defeated, even as he gave us a weak smile.

“What are you doing here?” I asked him.

“Waiting for you,” he replied softly.

“I’ll be inside,” Dae In said as she walked in with Sung Jin.

“What do you want?” I asked him, as soon as Dae In went in.

“You look beautiful,” he said.

“Don’t be silly. I feel like a whale now,” I replied.

I’m 8 months pregnant, and Hee Jin is due anytime soon. How can I look beautiful?

“Yes you do. Don’t you know that pregnant women have a special glow about them?” he said as he walked towards me.

“You still haven’t answered my question. Why are you here?” I said.

“Let’s go home,” he said.

“What for?”

“I miss you, Sierra. Please come home with me.”

“Why now? What made you change your mind?”

“My mother spoke to me again yesterday. She told me that if I don’t treasure you now, if you really leave me for good, I was going to hate myself forever. I realized that she’s right.”

“So you’re here because you don’t want to have to hate yourself?”

“No. Because I want to make the most of the time we have together, no matter how little of it is left.”

“It took you all these months to realize that was all I wanted from you. For us to just treasure the time we have together,” I said, and I could feel tears coming.

“Mianhae,” he whispered, and a single tear rolled down his cheek. “Mianhae, Sierra. I was such a fool.”

I lifted my hand to touch the mark that the tear made on his cheek.

“I love you,” I said, and he hugged me.

We stood there and cried in each other’s arms. They were tears of relief; relief that we were finally reunited, and they were tears of fear; the fear that we may not have much time left together.

I moved back to our apartment that day, and Dae In seemed so happy to see me go.

“Bye onni,” she waved happily to me.

“You’re so happy to see me go?” I asked her.

“Of course,” she laughed. “I’m happy that you’re back with Jun Su oppa. The both of you are meant to be.”

“Just like you and Yoo Chun?” I teased, and she blushed.

Living with them confirmed to me that Yoo Chun was indeed devoted to Dae In. I was really happy that everything has worked out for all of us.

Jun Su decided to stay home with me until the day Hee Jin was due.

“You don’t need to,” I protested. “I can take care of myself.”

“I want to. I want to spend more time with you,” he insisted.

When he heard that I wanted to name our baby, Hee Jin, he had some comments to make about the name.

“Why Hee Jin?” he asked me.

“I like Hee Jin.”

“Why not some cute name like Hye Bin or Min Ah?” he asked.

“I like Hee Jin,” I insisted.

“Fine, fine. I get to name the next one,” he smiled.

Hee Jin arrived on a rainy autumn day. We were relaxing in the living room when my water suddenly broke. We’d actually scheduled a C-section delivery so that the process of labour wouldn’t strain me, but I guess Hee Jin couldn’t wait.

“It’s time Jun Su,” I told him, and he just got up from the sofa and calmly collected the stuff we needed to take along to the hospital.

He held my hand all the way to the hospital. His other hand gripped the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles were almost turning white.

“Jun Su,” I said as I stroked his hand gently, “relax.”

He turned to me and looked at me for a long time when we stopped at a traffic light. I grimaced when I felt a contraction, and then I smiled at him.

“I love you, Sierra,” he said, and he lifted my hand to kiss it.

Chapter 28

[Dae In’s POV]

I sprinted up the stairs and walked quickly into Sung Jin’s nursery. When I got there, he was still wailing loudly.

“What’s wrong, Sung Jin?” I cooed as I picked him up. “Oma’s here.”

I checked his nappy and found that it was damp. I lay him down on the changing table, and started singing softly while changing his nappy. He began to calm down, and was soon gurgling back at me as I sang.

I finished my task and lifted Sung Jin up to kiss him. I never expected motherhood to be as beautiful as some mothers have described to me. It was truly a gift. Sung Jin is now the new love of my life, together with Yoo Chun.

I’ll never forget the day I first held Sung Jin in my arms. I could not imagine that something so beautiful had been growing within me. The other beautiful thing that happened on that day was that I finally have validation of Yoo Chun’s love.

“Saranghae,” he said as he leaned down to kiss the top of my sweaty head.

I looked up at him and felt mixed emotions. I was so tired from the 4 hours of labour, I was so contented when I held Sung Jin in my arms, and now I felt like I’d gone to heaven. Everything had fallen into place. Yoo Chun is finally mine, heart, mind and soul, and we are headed towards a new future with our child.

“Saranghae,” I replied, as tears of happiness streamed down my cheeks.

“Pabo,” he smiled as he wiped my tears. “What are you crying for?”

I smiled to myself as put Sung Jin back in his cot.

“Sung Jin-ah,” I whispered, as patted him to sleep, “Oma saranghae.”

Sierra onni was going to live with us until her baby is due. Jun Su oppa was very upset with her, but he hadn’t showed up at our house at all. It seemed as if they were having a cold war.

Having Sierra onni around was pretty fun, since there was someone at home with me to care for Sung Jin, and someone I could talk to. Some days, we’d bundle Sung Jin up and take him out for lunch with us.

Sierra onni doesn’t seem to be having any complications with her pregnancy. If anything, she was stronger than I was during mine. She’d always be the first up each morning, making breakfast and all, and she’d hold Sung Jin for me while I ate my breakfast.

One morning, I heard her singing to Sung Jin. She was singing the song ‘Balloons’ softly whilst swaying Sung Jin to the beat of her singing.

“That’s a cute song,” I said as I walked into the nursery.

“I know. I plan to sing it to Hee Jin when she’s born,” she smiled. “It will be my special song for her.”

We’d found out during that last checkup that the baby onni carried was going to be a girl. Immediately, onni already had a name in mind. She said that she loved how Sung Jin’s name ended with a ‘Jin’. She wanted the same for her baby, so she’s going to name her Hee Jin.

“Promise me, Dae In,” she said. “Raise our children together, and maybe someday, Sung Jin can marry Hee Jin.”

“You’ll be here when that happens, onni,” I said.

“Who knows,” she shrugged and smiled.

“I do. You’ll be here,” I said, and I really wanted it to be true.

It was 6th month into her pregnancy when Jun Su oppa’s mother came to visit us.

“How are you, dear?” she said as she took onni’s hand.

“I’m fine, omoni,” onni said.

“Has Jun Su been by to visit you?” she asked.

“No, he hasn’t,” onni replied.

“That son of mine. Why must he be so stubborn?” she said.

“I understand where he’s coming from,” onni said. “I’m fine with that. All I ask is for the Kim family to ensure that my baby is taken care of when I’m gone.”

“Stop spouting rubbish, Sierra,” Jun Su oppa’s mother said. “We will make sure you are at the best of your health, and the baby too. I will have a talk with Jun Su when I see him later. This nonsense has to end before the baby is due.”

“Omoni, it’s alright. I’m fine living here. Jun Su is actually paying for all my expenses even though he doesn’t approve of this,” onni said, defending Jun Su oppa.

“He should. He had a share in creating this child.”

“I’ll be fine omoni,” onni insisted, and Jun Su oppa’s mother just shook her head sadly.

Honestly, I did not understand why Jun Su oppa wouldn’t come see her. Yoo Chun tells me that he misses her, so why can’t he just come apologise to onni so that he can take her home? I hope that Jun Su oppa will come for onni soon. If anything happens to Sierra onni, I hope he doesn’t regret his decision to stay away.