Chapter 26

“I want a divorce,” I repeated, and Jun Su’s expression changed from shock to anger.

“Does this marriage mean that little to you; that you can just bail out because of something like this?”

“This life means more than this marriage,” I said as I put my hand over my belly.

“You’re crazy, you’re going mad,” he said as he walked over to the rack and picked up his coat. “Call me when you’re sane.”

He put on his coat and he walked out of the apartment, slamming the door hard as he went. I stared at the door for awhile, then I took a deep breath and exhaled. He wasn’t going to change his mind. So I’m just going to have to do what I need to do.

I went into our room and pulled out my suitcase. It was hard for me, I loved Jun Su so much, and I want to give him what he deserved, a child of ours. If I have to do this on my own, I’m just going to do it.

An hour later, I was done packing. I picked up the last item I was taking with me, a picture of us during our honeymoon. It was a picture of Jun Su giving me a piggyback ride, and a fellow tourist had taken it for us.

“Get on,” he’d laughed as soon as he handed the tourist the camera.

“What?” I said.

“Get on my back,” he said. “Don’t worry, I can take the weight,” he winked, and I smacked him.

I jumped on his back, throwing all my weight on him on purpose. He squealed as I did, and the shot that was captured was beautifully candid. He was laughing hard, and so was I, as he was trying to regain his balance to look up at the camera. We’ve never looked happier.

I pulled out my bags and left them by the door, then I went to sit at the desk and started writing a note to him.

Jun Su,

It’s been more than a year. For more than a year, we have shared the deepest bond any mortal could have with another. Sadly, this bond had not allowed us to transcend above all obstacles. I want this child, and I know you want it too, but you want me more.

In my opinion, you will regret this decision. My life is short, but the life of this child will carry on long after mine. He will be my legacy, and will give you what I am not able to give since I may no longer be around. I hope that I will live long enough to hear his first words to us, but if it is God’s will for me to leave sooner, so be it.

I’m leaving you now not because I don’t love you, not because I’ve given up on us. I’m leaving because I feel that you need time to accept my decision, and I need to be away to focus on keeping this child safe and healthy. Promise me that when I’m gone for good, you will take our child with you, and raise him as we’d wanted to raise our children.

Jun Su… saranghae… I will always love you. I don’t expect forgiveness if you don’t understand my actions, but please remember that I love you.

Sierra

I folded the paper in half and kissed it, then I stood it up on our bed, against the pillows.

Half an hour later, I was outside Dae In’s house, and I rang on the door bell.

“Who is it?” came the voice of the housekeeper through the intercom.

“I’m here to see Dae In, it’s Sierra,” I replied.

“Hold on,” she said, and she opened the gates for me.

As I approached the front door of the house, Dae In ran out to greet me. Her eyes widened when she saw the bags I’d brought with me.

“Onni! What happened? What are all these bags for?” she exclaimed.

“I’ve left Jun Su,” I said.

“Why? What happened?”

“We had a disagreement.”

“I’m sure it’s just a small problem. Jun Su oppa’s probably feeling bad about it right now. You don’t need to leave him.”

I shook my head sadly, “I don’t think he will. It’s not a small quarrel this time. He won’t back down.”

“Onni,” Dae In said softly as tears started to stream down my face. “Come inside then. Come inside and sit down. It’s chilly out here,” she said and we went into the house.

Once we were inside and had sat down in the living room, the housekeeper served us each a cup of hot tea.

“Tell me what happened onni,” Dae In said.

I sighed, and I looked at her sadly, “I’m pregnant.”

“But that’s good news!” she exclaimed, puzzled. “Why are you and Jun Su oppa arguing then?”

“I have acute cardiomyopathy,” I said.

“Huh? What's that?” she asked.

“I could die of heart attack at any moment,” I explained, and I watched her eyes widen in shock at my revelation.