Chapter 25

“What’s this?” Jun Su said as he held out the pregnancy test.

Damn! I should’ve burnt it. I was going to wait till the doctor confirmed it before I told Jun Su.

“Erm… a tampon?” I said.

“Sierra, I know what a tampon looks like. What is this?” he asked.

“It’s a pregnancy test kit,” I sighed.

“Why would you need one? You’re on birth control pills.”

“I’ve been off for 3 months already.”

“What?” he exclaimed.

He was starting to scare me. He actually looked angry.

“Then is this a positive or negative?”

“Positive,” I said. No point lying now.

“Sierra,” he said. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“Trying to have a normal life,” I said.

“Normal life? Are you trying to get yourself killed?”

“We need a baby, Jun Su. We deserve a baby,” I said, and tears started streaming down my face.

“We can’t have one. Not now. Or we’ll lose you,” he said.

“I can’t stand it anymore, Jun Su. I can’t stand us not being able to be a normal married couple. I want this baby, and I’m going to keep it.”

“Sierra,” he groaned, and he walked over and pulled me into his arms.

“I want this baby, Jun Su. It’s our baby. We deserve a baby.”

“But the doctor said that the medications your on would harm it.”

“I’ve not been taking my medication for months now. I’m clean, our baby will be healthy,” I confessed.

“And what about you?” he said, and he temper started to rise again. “What about me?”

“I’m willing to risk it,” I said. “If I die, at least our child will be here for you.”

“You know what?” he said as he pulled away. “I never thought you’d be so thoughtless, so selfish. Do you really think that I’d rather lose you just so I could have a child?”

“I’m probably going to die at any moment. My condition is not improving. I want to live my life to the fullest before I go.”

“And this is how you define living life to its fullest. Choosing the most dangerous path?”

“This is how I want to live it.”

“The baby has to go. You’re going back on your medication,” he said.

“No,” I said stubbornly.

“Stop being stubborn. You really want to die like this?” he said as he shook me by the shoulders.

“At least my life would have served a purpose.”

“Please Sierra, stop it. Stop talking like that,” Jun Su said sadly.

“My life will end any time, Jun Su, and I want to be remembered.”

“This is not the way,” he said as he shook his head.

“Why is it not the way? What other way could there be?”

“Why can’t you wait until you get strong enough?”

“There has been no improvement in my condition, Jun Su. I don’t want to waste anymore time.”

“No…” he said, and he shook his head sadly as his hands still held on to my shoulders.

“So you still want me to abort this baby?” I asked him, and he nodded. “Then you leave me no choice.”

“What? What are you going to do?” he asked me.

“I want a divorce,” I said, and he just stared at me, speechless.