Chapter 30: Finale

I stand at the door of the church, not daring to enter. If I walk through this door today, it will confirm everything all over again.

Hee Jin was born without complications, and Sierra onni had survived the ordeal of childbirth, she was able to hold Hee Jin in her arms and meet her for the very first time.

“Annyeong,” I remembered onni saying, as she stroked Hee Jin’s cheek. “Annyeong, Hee Jin,” she whispered as Jun Su oppa watched on.

Onni looked up at Jun Su oppa and she smiled, tears rolled down her cheeks. I was there because onni asked me to. She wanted me to be there when Hee Jin arrived.

“In case I’m not there to greet her,” she had said. “I want you to be the mother she’d never had.”

Thankfully, that didn’t happen.

“She looks just like you,” Jun Su oppa said. “Look at those oriental eyes,” he smiled.

Sierra onni survived Hee Jin’s birth, but her health never improved after that. She was easily tired, and she spent most of her days sitting in the rocking chair in Hee Jin’s nursery, cuddling Hee Jin and singing to her.

Some days, Jun Su oppa would take onni and Hee Jin out for picnics, especially when Hee Jin was 2, and had started to walk. Onni would sit on a blanket and watch as Jun Su oppa played with Hee Jin. Onni once told me, she wished she could carry Hee Jin and toss her in the air just as oppa does, but sadly, she didn’t dare, in case she didn’t have the strength to catch her. Hee Jin is 3 this year.

As I entered the church, I saw Jun Su oppa carrying her in his arms, as they looked over onni. She looked so peaceful lying there. It was as if she was sleeping.

“Oma,” I could hear Hee Jin say as she pointed at onni.

“Oma’s sleeping,” oppa said, and he kissed Hee Jin’s forehead.

I turned away, trying to fight the tears. Yoo Chun put his arm around me and held me close.

“Uljima,” he said. “You need to be strong. Sierra would’ve wanted you to. You’re now like a mother to Hee Jin, and you need to give Jun Su strength as well.”

I nodded and quickly wiped away the tears that have escaped my eyes.

“Come Sung Jin,” I said as I took him by the hand and we walked up to Jun Su oppa.

“Hee Jin!” Sung Jin called out as we approached.

“Oppa!” Hee Jin squealed as she squirmed around in Jun Su oppa’s arms, wanting to come down and play.

“Be careful,” Jun Su oppa said as he put Hee Jin down. “Take care of her, Sung Jin,” oppa smiled, and Sung Jin nodded before taking Hee Jin’s hand and running off to play with her.

“Hey,” Yoo Chun said as he patted Jun Su oppa on the back.

“Thanks for coming,” Jun Su oppa smiled.

“We’re brothers, I should be here,” Yoo Chun replied.

I walked up to onni, and I touched her glass screen above her coffin.

“Onni,” I whispered. “I’m here,” I choked out.

I kept looking at her lifeless face; willing her to wake up and smile at me, talk to me. Yoo Chun came to stand beside me, and he put his hands on my shoulders to comfort me.

“She looks happy,” he said.

“She’s done everything she wanted to do in this lifetime,” I said. “That’s why she looks happy.”

I was there by onni’s side, the night she left us.

“If I die now, Dae In,” she said. “I’ll still be contented.”

“Don’t say that onni,” I exclaimed.

“Chintcha… I’ve done everything I wanted to do. I’ve lived, I’ve loved, I’ve had a child, what more could anyone ask for?”

“A longer life,” I replied. “A long and healthy life.”

“Too late for that,” she smiled wryly.

She seemed alright when I talked to her then, I couldn’t believe it when I got the call from Jun Su oppa a few hours later. His voice was shaking as he delivered the news.

“Sierra’s gone,” he said. “Her heart just failed, she’s gone.”

I couldn’t even answer him, as I was frozen with shock, and the phone fell out of my hands and hit the floor with a loud thud.

“What’s wrong?” Yoo Chun said as he came up to me and picked up the phone.

After talking with Jun Su oppa for a few seconds, he hung up.

“Sit down,” he said, and he guided me to sit on the lounge in our room.

“What did Jun Su oppa say?” I stammered.

“Sierra’s gone. She passed on awhile ago.”

“No… she was talking to me about 4 hours ago. She can’t be dead.”

“She’s gone Dae In,” he said calmly. “Sierra’s dead.”

“No, she can’t be,” I said, and I started sobbing.

After onni’s funeral service, we gathered at their home. As I walked through the hallway, I looked at all the pictures that have filled the walls since Hee Jin was born; Hee Jin when she was an infant, onni and Hee Jin in the park, and the most significant was the portrait of onni, oppa and Hee Jin, which was hung right in the middle of the living room. They’d lived the life they wanted to, the life of a happily married couple with their child, but sadly, it didn’t last.

I walked into Hee Jin’s nursery to find her alone with onni’s photo.

“Imo,” she said in her cute voice as I entered. She’d taken to calling me that since I was like a sister to onni.

“Hey, Hee Jin. What are you doing?” I said as I sat down on the floor next to her.

“Where’s oma?” she asked me.

“Oma went on a holiday,” I said.

“Without Hee Jin?” she said, sadly.

“Yes,” I replied.

“Then who will sing to Hee Jin now?” she said.

“Imo, will sing to you,” I smiled. “Which song do you want to hear?”

“Pungseon!” she said happily.

“Why Pungseon?” I asked her.

“Oma always sing Pungseon to Hee Jin,” she said. “Imo sing for Hee Jin?”

“Araso,” I said and I started singing. “Chinagabeorin, eorin sijeoren,” I paused, as tears started to well up in my eyes. “Pungseoneul t'ago…” I tried to continue, but a sob escaped my throat.

I’d remembered what Sierra onni had said about this song, about this song being her song for Hee Jin, and I couldn’t help but miss her when I thought of it.

“Imo, waegeurae?” Hee Jin said.

“Uhm…” I said as I tried to compose myself, and then I hear Jun Su oppa singing.

“Naraganeun yeoppeun kkumdo kkueossji.”

I smiled at him through my tears, and he smiled back. Then we continued to sing together.

“Noran pungseoni, haneureul nalmyeon, nae maeumedo, areumdaun kieokdeuri saenggakna…”

When we finished singing, Hee Jin clapped her hands happily.

“Again,” she said. “Again!”

Maybe Hee Jin will not remember everything about her mother in years to come, but she had something to remind her if her existence. Sierra onni, you did right. Whenever we sing this song now, we will be reminded of you; your strength, your will, your laughter and your love. You always seemed helpless when it came to the life Fate had chosen for you, but you made sure that you made the most of each day. We will always remember you. Saranghamnida…